Awakening
by BeGodlyBeLynn
Summary: In spite of all she had accomplished and all that she had gained, Ashley's happiness was never safe from the bludgeonings of chance. When her world is reduced to ashes, she must choose whether to burn with it or to walk away from it. The path will be long no matter what route she takes. This is a story about Ash: How she loved him, how she lost him, and of the life that she let go.


1: Bottoms Up Tonight

For all the money the Alliance poured into defense, the comfort of its soldiers was apparently not as pressing an issue as the development of the galaxy's first stealth frigate. And while Ashley had accepted that serving on the first stealth frigate ever made was an acceptable sacrifice for uncomfortable chairs, she sometimes wished that they could've invested in _real _leather, or even more comfortable beds. It really wasn't a big deal—such was the price of serving her race—but the thought lingered whenever she sat down or turned in for the night. Even now, as she sat on the floor with her back against a crate, she dreamed of nicer seats and warmer floors.

_At least the furniture is more comfortable at home, _she reminded herself—and it was a very real possibility that she would be going home very soon, once the Alliance was done goofing off. She smiled and stretched her legs out in front of her, thinking of her mother and sisters. Her heart soared with optimism, and she could only count down the days to their return. If she was lucky, she'd be back in time for Sarah's wedding. Maybe, one day, she'd even tell them about Caleb Shepard.

As if he'd been listening to her thoughts, he appeared just as the thought of his name crossed her mind. He was sporting two steaming mugs of tea and a smile. Balancing them carefully, he sat down next to her and handed her one of them without a word. She accepted the drink gratefully and took a careful sip. It was rich and sweet, she noted, but not nauseatingly cloying like his last, failed batch of tea had been. She swirled the liquid around her tongue thoughtfully and swallowed.

"Much better than last time," she remarked, raising her eyebrows at him. "You're learning."

"I didn't realize soaking a little tea bag in hot water was an art," Shepard admitted. His smile widened. "I guess I am learning."

"It's good," she said, taking another sip. "At least you didn't drown it in sugar this time."

"But I like sugar."

"You're going to get fat," she chided him. "You're not even a biotic and you probably eat more than Kaidan does. Did."

She cleared her throat uncomfortably. The slip-up was not lost on Shepard and he sobered for a brief moment, his smile faltering just a little. In any other time they might have ended the conversation right then and there, but they were both too high on the feeling of euphoria and crazy optimism to give it too much mind. The change in his expression was subtle, but she knew enough of him to identify the exact moment where he decided to brush it off and return to his cheerful, celebratory self.

"I'm a growing man, Ash," he replied instead, and pouted.

"You're twenty-nine, Caleb. You're a little too old to be getting any taller."

"Tall enough for you, though, right?"

She kissed him on the cheek. "I guess so."

He laughed and slung an arm around her shoulders. Ashley leaned comfortably into his embrace, content with listening to the steady rhythm of his heart and cradling the steaming mug of tea in her hands. She wasn't sure if she loved him, not yet, but she knew that now, and perhaps for the first time in a while, she felt truly happy — doing something that mattered, serving under a man who recognized her talent, fulfilling the promise the Alliance had made to her when she'd enlisted in the navy. She felt her life coming full circle, and despite the losses she'd sustained, she felt that it was all worth it.

"What are you going to do when we get back?" she asked curiously. He shrugged.

"I'm not sure," he said. "I might go visit Liara or something, or maybe I'll help with the mop-up on the Citadel. Maybe I'll go yell at the Council some more." He grinned. "A Spectre's job is never done, Gunny. Maybe I'll go chase Saren, 2.0. Who knows?"

He didn't say it, but she knew that he didn't have much to go back to.

"You can stay with me for a bit if you'd like," she said quietly. "You'd like it there. Maybe you can attend my sister's wedding."

"Must be nice to have a family," he remarked ruefully. She gently nudged him, hoping to ease his discomfort.

"You have us now," she assured him. "You have Garrus, and Joker, and Tali and Liara, and..."

"And?"

"You have me." She kissed him again.

"Yeah," he said, a little distracted. "I guess I do."

"That's the spirit."

Caleb raised his mug to hers. "Bottoms up," he said. She smiled, clinked her mug against his, and took a long drink of tea, savoring the warmth of it that spread through her body in a way that alcohol couldn't. The Alliance might have spared many an expense for luxurious accommodations for their soldiers, but here, in Shepard's arms, Ashley Williams felt very rich indeed.

_A/N: So I don't actually know how the SR1 is structured. (I haven't actually played ME1. Please don't stone me.) Anyway, here is the overhaul of my previous Ash story. Hopefully, it will have more depth and overall quality. (If you're curious about the old Ashfic, it's When You're Through Thinking, Say Yes.) As with everything I publish, don't expect lighting-fast updates._


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